So many couples think they can do all of the planning on their own, and that’s completely fine—up until the day of the wedding. If you can hire someone to handle the details on the actual day, it alleviates so much stress. You should be a guest at your wedding, not the staff. Even if a soup-to-nuts planner isn’t in your budget, many offer more affordable, day-of services.

Take a look at a list of wedding planners on our  Must Be Kismet Vendor listing

It’s tempting to plan a big brunch or line up manicures, pedicures, hair, and a bikini wax on the morning of the wedding, but try not to do too much. (Stick to the absolute necessities—hair and makeup.) Your wedding day will fly by faster than you could ever imagine. If you have too many activities, you won’t have space to take in the real once-in-a-lifetime moments.

It’s tempting on the day of to peek in (or drive by) the reception site while everyone is setting up. Don’t do that. Brides want to see all of their planning and vision come to fruition, of course. But my advice is to wait for the big reveal, when the candlelight, the beautiful linens, the great decor can really tell the story. Not only is the payoff not as sweet if you’re checking on lighting and flowers all day; you’ll just make yourself crazy seeing a half-finished hall.

Don’t rely on a safety pin and a prayer. Have a friend or relative go with you to a fitting to learn how to fit you into your dress and make sure that person practices and sticks around post-ceremony to button you into shape.

This is a biggie. You need to make a date with your new spouse during the reception, even if it’s just 5 or 10 minutes. Sneak away to a secret spot. If your ceremony and reception are at the same site, take a few moments to hang out in a dressing room. Or, if you’re driving from a temple (gurdwara, mosque, or church) to the reception, go alone rather than riding with the whole wedding party. When my husband and I got married, we had a driver take us from the church to the reception, and our photographer rode along in the front seat. It was such a refreshing break to talk about the ceremony, read the surprise inscriptions we’d had engraved inside our rings, and talk about what we were excited about at the reception.

No one wants to be chasing down wait staff, ask your caterer, venue, planner or a friend to have a plate of hors d’oeuvres and some celebratory beverages prepped and ready for you immediately when you arrive. If your reception is a buffet rather than a seated dinner, have a “mini meal” with your husband (also counts as alone time!).  Give your caterer plenty of notice to plan a little nosh just after post-ceremony pictures. Have a great cocktail, sample your food, and then you’ll be all set to talk and dance without having to worry that you don’t have a carb base to survive the rest of the evening.

Do not waste 15 minutes of your cocktail hour trying to corral all five of your college roommates for a picture. Designate someone ahead of time, a family member or close friend who is familiar with everyone and—even more important—isn’t shy, to get people together.  Consider picking two people—one who knows the family, one who’s up on all of your besties—so you cover every group.

Guess what you won’t remember to grab on your way out of the ceremony? A clean copy of the program. Ask a friend to collect all of the special paper goods—a few extra programs, some monogrammed napkins, a copy of the menu that doesn’t have chutney dripped on it. For bonus points, collect duplicate sets for your mother and mother-in-law. They’ll be thrilled.

Sure, you need to talk to your high school English teacher while he chats with his dad’s business partner. But don’t stay apart too long.  Link arms. Be cheesy. This is not the night to showcase your ability to mingle independently like you would at a cocktail party.  You risk having totally different memories of this important event, and you make it impossible for your photographer to capture you together!

You know what we’re about to say: You can’t control everything. Zippers will break, flower girls will cry, and what matters is the marriage, not the height of the centerpieces.  As the bride, you drive the mood. It won’t matter if the storm of the century is sweeping through—if you’re all smiles and thrilled to be marrying the love of your life, the guests will have fun, too.